I hated it growing up, how adults would always marvel at the passage of time and how it all goes so fast. Just such a cliché. As a kid, you spend your time looking forward to the next big thing--starting school, or a going to a different "bigger kids" school, or becoming a teenager, starting high school, turning 16, driving, graduating...on and on. It always seems like a great thing is just so far away. Adults yammering about time moving on just makes the days drag on that much more slowly. But then I became a mama, and it's just too much.

Every year I post something to commemorate your transition into a new age.

And you, dear boy, are four today.

Your birth post

First birthday

Second birthday

Third birthday

And now four.

Yesterday, when I went to get you off the bus, you were asleep. And for a moment, even though a car was waiting to get by, I just had to stop and stare at you. You just looked so precious and beautiful, and so incredibly vulnerable. So of course I took a picture.

Gorgeous sleeping boy.

This last year has had a lot of yuck in our circumstances, but you? You have been amazing.

You are so funny and you're hilarious.

You are mostly nice to your sister, and sometimes you say, "No Mama go get Juyet," after her nap but so very often you say, "Mama go get Juyet up?"

You love wearing your headphones (which are duct taped together to prevent you from breaking them) and playing your iPad like you are doing grown up work and it's pretty much the cutest.

You are obsessed with wearing hoodies all day every day. Your similarly hoodie obsessed mama finds this amazing and lovely.

Your headphones + a hoodie? I die. I just die.

You fell asleep this way the other night.
And yeah, sometimes we let you go to bed with your iPad.
Because otherwise we might murder you ;)

At bedtime you are offered, "Do you want Mama to take you, Daddy to take you, or both?", and you ALWAYS say, "Boooooth!"

You don't say a lot about other people, but when we ask you about your favorite teacher, Mrs. Elyse, or your Uncle Josh / Aunt Becky / Baby Gabe your eyes light up so bright that my heart melts.

You are SO DAMN SMART. I marvel at you. You can solve any puzzle faster than most adults, you OWN the Dude Perfect trick shots basketball game, and your ability to see the world in a way that most can't just amazes me.

You are sweet. You love snuggles and hugs and every time I put you to bed you ask, "You want Mama lie down?" And you gently pat your cousins baby Gabe and tiny little 6 week old baby James while saying baby + their name over and over.

You're super weird. You ask me to put my finger in your eye every day. I have no idea why or where you even got that idea. And sometimes you just burst into hilarious laughter out of nowhere and for no reason that anyone could ever know. I love it. Please never get less weird, my darling.

You love it when I sing to you. I ask, "Do you want Mama sing Jesus Loves Me, yes or no?" And most of the time you say, "No!" with a silly grin and start laughing. I say, "Oh, ok, no Mama sing." And then you say, "Doyouwan Mama sing Jesus Loves Me?" When that's done, you say, "Doyouwan Mama sing Payphone?" And then, "Doyouwan Mama sing Awlsbemuh Baybee?" [Translation: Always Be My Baby] So I always do and it's my favorite, because you grab my hand and make sure I'm gently playing with your hair while all cuddled in.

How are you this grown up?


I just love you, Roger. I say it all the time, but it's incredible to me that four years ago I was laboring away and just dreaming about the baby named Roger in my belly. I wrote so many thoughts about how precious you were to me, before I ever met you. But this boy in front of me? You are incredible. I love you more every day and I never even think it's possible to have more love for you. I'm amazed that I get to be your mama. I get to spend every day with you, just enjoying and knowing and loving you, and being the singular biggest influence on your life. Pretty astounding to this lady.

But lately, we have been talking with you about the singular thing I want you to carry for the rest of your life. I ask you, "Roger, does Jesus love you, yes or no?" And, as long as you aren't being silly, you say, "Yyyyessss!!!" I pray you always know this beautiful truth, that Jesus loves you and that is evidenced in how he lived and died and rose again for you. That's how you know and it's in the Bible, sweet boy.

If you know TWO things, I hope you know that I love you. When I daydreamed about the baby in my belly, never could he have been as incredible a gift and joy as are you, Roger. So here's to you, knowing you, loving you, and watching you grow. May this fifth year of your life be a beautiful, wonderful, and sweet one, my precious love!

So. Much. Green. Still your fave!

How did you get so big?

So then, happy birthday, Roger Nehemiah. You are four!

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