Man alive, I miss this space.
This is the first time I've sat for any length of time on my laptop and that only because there's a fairly urgent need I had to get done for our community group. Life's just been very full. I'm a lady who, if I have one appt (of ANY kind--play date, alone time with a friend, dr. appt, take the kids to the park, go grocery shopping during the day with the kids alone, etc) in a week thinks, "Well that was a good and filled up week."
You think I'm kidding.
So I counted just now and July has already had 25 things. It's the 18th. Ouch.
With that, there is a lot of non-official stuff going on. Ministry is heavy and also sometimes it just makes us busy to do real life and real ministry and really know people. We have a beloved brother living with us. He's going through heavy stuff. Dear friends are experiencing deep pain as a result of the sin of family members against them.
And then one large reason for silence is that our own family is going through a painful medically related issue that, by God's grace, he's called me to keep silent on publicly until he says it's time. Our close community and friends have been walking with us for 2 months and it's been beautiful.
That said, I am one who if I cannot speak openly and honestly about everything I struggle to say anything at all. That's not necessarily bad--I refuse to bullshit. That's a good thing! But then at the same time I love how Jesus ministers to my heart when I'm here, writing, loving Jesus with the words he's given me in the public sphere for, I pray, the admonition of you. And always, always, always the wrestling of how my God would work in me for his glory privately, in close community, and then in full-on public disclosure, the discerning of where to draw healthy boundaries and lines and not believe lies that if I'm not saying EVERYTHING then nothing I say is of Christ, turns from wrestling into paralysis, hiding, avoiding.
But then today I had this moment. These five little minutes left over after I got on my laptop to post something for our community group on The City (shout out to my husband's awesome job and his coworkers!) and a little bit could pour from heart to cyber page. I could have skipped it over but by God's grace here I am and these 5 minutes have been grace to me.
I hope they are to you, too.