1/29/2013

Not A Single Parent

Last week Jason was gone from Sunday through Saturday for work, receiving iOS (aka iPhone app) training at his company's headquarters in Florence, South Carolina. A friend of mine posted a Facebook status about how much it irks her when someone is home with their child(ren) alone for a night, a week, an hour, whatever, and says they are "single parenting." I actually quite agree with her.

Batmen twins enjoying one another before Daddy left from church with his ride to the airport.
Praise God for Katie the iPad--GREAT tool for Roger and Daddy Face Time when I had to
tend to a fussy Jules.
iPhones are great for Facetime, too!
The thing is, yes, it is hard to have your spouse gone and not get a break. Jules is a very different baby from Roger and just has a heck of a time sleeping on her own. There are things that just cannot be done when she's fussy, like giving Roger a bath. Sometimes I had to let her cry for 10 minutes just to get from point A to point B of Roger needing me. Not easy, not even a little. 

But ya know what was harder, by far? I never once cried when both kids were screaming and I couldn't do everything fast enough to make them both happy like, yesterday, already. I did cry when, on Sunday night, I gave Roger a bath and snuggled him and prayed and sang and he said, "Dada?" See, Daddy puts Roger down for bed every single night. That's their thing, and they have a routine. Rog was fairly nonplussed when Daddy was gone during the day, because that's normal. Night is a completely different story. So, I explained to him that Daddy has to work away from home sometimes and, by God's grace, he'd be back safe and sound in x-number of days. We talked about how Jesus is Mama's first husband and Roger's first father, how Daddy is a great second best but he's only ever second best to our very best Jesus.

Had to make bathtime a little more fun than usual :)

Yep, that's my tank top around his neck. Maybe things were a bit messier than normal ;)
Ok, maybe a LOT messier than normal!

That first night was the worst for me, too. Juliet was napping in her bed (hallelujah!) and I came out from putting Roger to bed to an empty apartment. I just lost it, crying deep, racking sobs. It caught me off guard, actually, but I just really missed Jason. He's my best friend and every night we talk and connect and with him my heart is consistently full despite how incredibly difficult this last...well, year, really...has been. The reality of an entire week without him spread out before me and just broke my heart.

But you see, it was just a week. God's will was that Jason returned safely home and I could count down the days until I was in his arms again. A single parent has no idea when and if someone will be there to be their companion in the way that only a spouse can be. A single parent might even get breaks and help from friends, family, church, etc. But that's still not the same as a spouse, a best friend, a companion, a long term help, someone you know will be there, a soulmate.

For the record, all this talk makes my heart just ache for those who don't have that kind of marriage. But that's for another day.

My sweet companion--I will admit that having her with me constantly, save for a few naps,
made me a lot less lonely, wonderfully high maintenance though she may be!


My cuties when I ventured out alone with them Friday. We even successfully completed
a Target trip, replete with nursing my hungry girl in Felix (our RAV4) in the parking lot!


So yes, the surprise for me was not that things were hard. I did have hard moments with crying kids and messy home, but I also had super sweet friends who knew I was alone and brought me dinner, Starbucks (grande mochas are my love language, no joke), bananas for Roger because I was running out and no way was I braving Costco alone with both kids!, etc. But the hardest part was missing my best friend. I love Jason, and I praise God that I am not a single parent not because I need breaks but because I love my husband!

Happy Daddy snuggling his littlest love :)
I hope that next time I feel sorry for myself (say, when my husband comes home at 10:30pm from serving at church and I feel all put out because after being gone for a week less than 36 hours later he was gone for 15 hours and I was going it solo again, and he asked me to be able to be gone Sunday afternoons to better prepare for the way he's serving on Monday nights and I have a pity party when Juliet is screaming in my face and I can't finish this blog post and my dinner is getting colder and colder but it's not something that would be good reheated...say, a time like that if it theoretically happened...) I will remember how blessed I am. I have, by grace, grown so much in truly believing Jesus is my first and best husband, I have a great relationship with my sweet Jason, and he's a wonderful daddy who does help out tons both with the kids and home but also as my companion. I am never alone--thank you, Jesus! Jason will be gone for two separate week-long work trips in April, so I pray I remember this then, too!

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