If you are new and don't know what this is about, just go to the very end of the post (or search for " What's This About? ", less the quotes) and check 'er out!
Truth be told, darling girl, my back is KILLING me so I gotta be as brief as possible.
Saturday I had peace about bed rest, especially since I could go downstairs and mostly be on the couch, around Roger, interacting with anyone who might be coming to help, etc...then yesterday, Sunday, I woke up with back pain so bad I literally would make my stomach heave involuntarily. As in, pain so bad I almost threw up and I couldn't even help it. The worst part is it was way up high so I knew it wasn't back labor, aka a possible sign of early labor. Needless to say, I never went downstairs yesterday, not even once.
But praise Jesus for your sweet daddy--he stayed with me all day, brought Roger upstairs as much as he could, and took amazing care of all three of us. He brought me food, went out and bought special, pregnancy safe patches for my back, massaged me, ran me a bath, and just was a joy and blessing and source of much grace. I love that man so much, Juliet! I pray you never, ever settle for a man who isn't simply enthralled with you and adores and treasures you even when the "thrill" of new love wears off.
Today it was a bit better and I even got to spend about 3 hours alone with Roger this morning. I think we both needed it. I can tell he misses me--he was pretty grouchy and mean to me by the end of yesterday, usually his way of saying he isn't happy to have not had much access to me. Today, while I was on the couch, instead of his normal routine of playing out and about and running around the living room / whole first floor he would bring his toy of choice onto the couch, sit right next to me where some part of his body (usually a leg or foot) was touching me at all times, and then play like normal. It was pretty special and, like I said, we both needed it.
I love that little man so much and one of the hardest parts of this pregnancy being rough--actually, the hardest part--is that while I know it was always Jesus' plan and doesn't catch him off guard I feel caught off guard and like Roger is being robbed of precious mama one-on-one time. I'm SUPER glad you are joining our family and cannot wait to have you in my arms, but I also really wanted to treasure this sweet time when Rog and I get to enjoy our days with just the two of us. I have been so limited in my ability to do much more than snuggle him on the couch for a solid 2-3 months now and while your health and caring for my body is worth it, I didn't expect it and most days I don't like it.
That said, I am very excited for you to come. Tonight was a crazy night--the Seahawks hosted Monday Night Football and it was an intense game with probably the most controversial ending ever, a game wining touchdown as the clock ran out that most people feel should have been an interception instead--and I just about put myself into labor going crazy with excitement! Just like when (go to day 54) Marshawn Lynch had the beast mode run in the play-offs when I was (I think) around 34 weeks pregnant with your brother! If I weren't in so much pain I probably WOULD have started running around our bedroom and probably would have put myself into labor :)
Last thought: there is no anticipation quite like being 39 weeks pregnant. Every little thing your body does feels significant. For example, right now my lower back really hurts. Is it that early labor sign? Or just is my body stiff and tired of having to be in a reclined position all the time? When you move a lot and I start having contractions, I wonder, "Is this it?" and hope they'll be more than 3 in an hour so I can feel like I have an excuse to use my nifty new 99 cent contraction timer iPhone app (that I really hope I get to use because I don't need an induction!).
WARNING to the fellas: TMI Alert
I also do what I know every other pregnant lady does, though we don't talk about it much--I never pee in the dark, not even at 3:30 am when it wakes me up a bit more than I would want to be aroused because I need to be able to check the toilet paper for things like mucus plugs and bloody show. I pay attention every. single. time I stand up to see if I feel a little gush or trickle of fluid, signalling that my water may have broken. I am simply super aware of every function of my body and constantly on the edge of my seat mentally, physically, and emotionally because my entire life and world are about to change--I'm closerthanthis to meeting my daughter! And it's crazy because I could finish this, go to sleep, and wake up in two hours with "go time" contractions, or my body could slowly ramp up in a few days or a lot of days, or I could be walking into the hospital in two weeks, ready for an induction. Truly only Jesus knows.
But man, it does make me think about how, in many ways, this world is pregnant with his return. Every little thing that happens is part of his plan and it's preparing for when Jesus comes back. It could be in my next breath or he could wait 10,000 or more years, but it's coming and the bride--all of us who are Christians, saved by his Gospel of grace--should be on the edge of our seats with anticipation. Unfortunately, if I'm honest, I live more like it's around 28 weeks into pregnancy or so. The excitement of learning the gender of the baby has worn off but the survival rate if I went into early labor is over 90% and there are great hospitals super close so I feel safe but I'll probably go full term and that's still really far away and I feel like I have forever to get stuff done on time because I'm not even hardly starting the third trimester. In faith related terms, I know Jesus could come back but it feels really far away, I feel secure that he'll take me home to heaven if I died in the next second, and I get kind of lazy about being about his kingdom and his agenda.
Oof. Convicting. Teach me to await your return with bated breath, Jesus, with the excitement and rapt attention of a woman over 39 weeks pregnant and not my general 28 weeks attitude. And, by your grace, give me the patient heart to await the arrival of our sweet Juliet, be it in 2 hours or two weeks.
Love you, Juliet. Truly, truly excited to meet you.
What's This About?
If you weren't around for it, when I was pregnant with Roger I did a blog series when I reached 100 days remaining until his due date; I knew then and know that September 29, 2012 is really just a placeholder that means very little, but it was fun to count down with Roger. I decided that I'ma try to do it again with Juliet. Now that I have a lovely 15 month old keeping me on my toes I might not be able to hit every single day the way I did with Roger but I still plan to give it my best!
So here we go! The lowdown: I'll keep one post per "decade" of days, updating with the current day at the top each day. Day 10 plus any bonus days will get their own posts until the day our beloved Juliet Elise arrives! And, as with Roger, they'll be addressed to her personally.