2/15/2012

Our Valentine's Gift

I posted this picture to Facebook yesterday:

In case ya can't quite read it:

"I'm a BIG BROTHER!
I, by God's grace, should meet my little brother or sister
around September 29, 2012"

It felt good to have it be fully public!

It is the "other medical issues" I have been alluding to. I REALLY wanted to announce the pregnancy with Roger holding a picture from the first ultrasound, ergo the wait. Yesterday was the day we finally go to go in, and as you can see, we didn't quite have Roger holding the pic. The dents above "BIG" are where he immediately tried to eat the paper :) But this way of announcing is why we were waiting. Plus, we wanted to know if it was one baby or two. I always pray for twins so you never know if Jesus will answer in the affirmative one of these times!

I do pray that I will not miscarry, and have wondered aloud (many, many times!) to Jason how people make it to 13 or 14 weeks before announcing. Oy! That's just not a good fit for my personality--I have felt chains by not being fully public (only a few close friends knew, and most who knew have known since the day we found out), having to filter every Twitter or Facebook update. As a result, I wrote almost nothing about me for the last four weeks! I just didn't want anyone to figure it out before we could have our cute Roger announcement :)

But, I also still carry the same conviction as with Roger: Jesus knows if I will miscarry, and while my gut (possibly Jesus, but I can't be sure) tells me that I won't, ultimately my personal conviction is to be open with the joy of the good news and, I pray, if the sad news of loss is also ours to eventually share then I pray it will come with graciousness that points to Jesus. This method isn't for everyone, but for Jason and me we feel Jesus has wired us to live open lives and that includes the possible pain of walking through miscarriage. And I still maintain that Molly Piper's willingness to share her pain after a full-term stillbirth ministered to me as I wrestled through the fears of miscarriage with Roger. Her sweet love of Jesus as he endured with her has ministered to me again, coming to mind in recent weeks as the thought of losing this beloved baby would wash over me from time to time.

Unfortunately the dizziness means we haven't had a date in about
10 days. Every day I hope to feel well enough to try!

The baby is the reason that, all of a sudden, I couldn't run. I got pregnant right about the same time I started running again after those two weeks off. With this lovely baby I have become increasingly lightheaded and faint, such that unless it gets better I can't even drive. Sometimes just sitting still I get so lightheaded that I feel that wooziness you normally feel when you stand up real quick and have to sit back down for a second. I don't feel safe driving in that condition, especially not with Rog in the car. I do pray it lessens, though my doctor warned me today that it very well may be something that I have for the entire pregnancy.

Overall, we are just thrilled! Roger will be 18.5 months at the due date, though I'm praying for an October baby because, well, it's only the greatest month ever! We are a family of four and Roger is a big brother no matter what. Just as Roger is always our first baby, this is always our second baby.

Ack! Family of four! Oh, joy!

Seeing our darling baby's strong, healthy heartbeat at 7 weeks, 3 days yesterday was our favorite Valentine's Day gift ever :) Praising Jesus again that we are now a family of four. Praying we get to hold a healthy, darling sibling for Roger in October!

PS A lot of people wonder if we were trying, and I have more to say but it's in a separate post so stay tuned!

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