Of These 100 Days: Days 19-10

This is a countdown post that I'll be updating daily with a highlight. I know that few babies ever come on their due date, but it's fun to pretend :) It's going to be written to him because that's just how I roll. Plus it's more adorable that way :) Enjoy checking in once a day!

I can't find a "teens" pic so I'm
using my FAVE number!
Day 10 - February 21, 2011
This was a good day, mainly because your mama forced herself to rest. I just determined to myself that I really did want to watch the Food Network for a few hours, got off my feet, closed the laptop lid, and didn't do anything other than drink water and go to the bathroom, you know, every 20 minutes or so (as is the routine these days with you making a punching bag of my bladder). It was actually quite lovely. 

Other than that, and doing a few small tasks, I mainly just decided that I'm going to make the most of this last week or so before you get here. Life will never be the same once you're in it, and I'm so excited for that transition! This is the time before you, the "B.K." (Before Kids) part of life and it's quickly winding down so instead of impatiently wondering when you'll come I'm just chilling. I'll earn a little money doing transcription, stay on top of chores, but otherwise I'm forcing myself to slow down and quit the hectic "do, do, do, do, DODODODODODODO!" mode I've been in. And I feel a lot better for it! I find that in the quiet my mind is more clear to me. I see where my heart tends to roam, talk to Jesus more, and am generally a lot happier for it! Your daddy couldn't stop commenting how cute and snuggly and just calm and enjoyable I was :)

So that's that. And after today, we're into the single digits. I'm glad you're still in there developing and growing and my heart is getting pretty tender, excited to hold your sweet little self. Until then I'ma keep finding ways to rest and letting my heart ruminate on Christ and His goodness in giving you to me!

Day 11 - February 20, 2011
This was a pretty sweet day, Rog-podge. The sermon at church was really, really good--it was about the cost of discipleship. Salvation is free, but discipleship costs our lives. It was very sweet and timely because after church your daddy and I sat down to lunch (at Chipotle, one of our absolute faves! I'm actually eating leftovers right now for lunch on Monday, Day 10) and then went for a nice little drive around Issaquah and Sammamish to talk about Jesus and life planning.

I love drives with your daddy. He's simply my favorite person to be around and connecting with him while enjoying a gloriously sunny afternoon out in God's beautiful creation. And one cool way Jesus blessed us is that we found this cute little area of houses where we really loved the homes and we liked how it's intentionally been built to foster community and getting to know your neighbors. There's a huge open field-like park with all of the houses facing it and so when we saw fliers for one of the houses for sale we just picked one up. I expected the normal 700,000+ (this is one reason your mama worries about money; we still have so much student loan debt to pay off before we can start saving for a house and I just can't imagine ever having enough to buy one that would accommodate the large family I pray Jesus gives us!) but I was pleasantly shocked to see that it was only $529,000! For this area, that's really amazing! And it was big and spacious and would be a great home for our family, plus everything else we love that I already mentioned.

I'm not saying that is the house we'll live in someday, but it was such a cool little way of Jesus saying, "See, daughter? Your worrying and fretting over houses is futile. Someday when it's time I'll provide you with a home, but for now, here's a little encouragement that things aren't so gloomy as you think." He's good that way :)

Other than that the day was filled with mama doing lots of cooking, getting a steal on a bouncy / vibrating seat for you, and loving your daddy. 

One more double-digit day, little monkey moose! Then we're in the single digits until you arrive. Your daddy looked at me at church today, I think struck by the sheer number of children all around us, and said, "In less than two weeks we're going to have a baby!" It's finally starting to become real to him... no longer is it purely this nebulous future event, but rather it's a hard to imagine but wonderful impending reality! Can't wait to meet you, Roger, and we both love and adore you because you are our son!

Day 12 - February 19, 2011
Ok, bud, Mama kind of slacked off this last weekend so though it's Monday (day 10) I'm catching up!

This was a day defined by grace. Your daddy had a big test to take. He worked really hard, and your mama was really proud of him for it. We prayed together before his test that we would see Jesus' grace to us in this day and rest in Him. To be honest, for me that pretty much meant that Jesus would help your daddy pass the test. But he didn't pass. And you know what? That was the most gracious thing Jesus could have done.

See, not passing revealed all sorts of sin and pride to both your daddy and me. I'll let your daddy tell you about his sin, but my sin is craving comfort and security in money. I constantly put pressure on your daddy to make more money so we can both get things and so I can look at a budget spreadsheet and feel safe. It's not good, it's not godly, and it's not wise. I'm miserable, Roger, and I make your daddy miserable. No amount of money will ever make me safe. It doesn't matter how much we have, how much our good God blesses us, because I always want more. 

In the Bible Jesus has this to say with regards to worrying about money:

And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.
“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. 
(Luke 12:22-34 ESV)

That's a good word to your mama. And your daddy failing his test was actually such grace from Jesus, because we lose out on some money via tuition reimbursement and yet instead of having that money I got Jesus. He pursued my wicked heart, He opened my eyes to the way His Holy Spirit has been whispering to me about my anxiety with regards to money for many months now, and He filled me with His grace by the Holy Spirit so that I could repent. What a gift! What joy! I feel free now, Roger. Money worries still come, but now I see that my Savior is beckoning me to rest in Him. My chains are cut off and though my wrists are raw now Jesus is holding my hand and I am learning to rest in that. 

So, my dear boy, I pray that as you grow up you will see continued sanctification in your mama's heart, that I would continually rest in Jesus. I pray that you would not inherit my sin of believing that money makes you safe and treating God like a pinata that you whack in prayer and expect higher salaries and miracle checks to come out of. Your Father is good, He loves you, and woe to us if ever He simply gave us money and removed His greatest gift from us--Himself. 

I love you, Roger. You are my beloved son and I am excited to meet you and keep telling you all about this great Jesus who adores you!

Day 13 - February 18, 2011
Well, you didn't come :) Mama actually was relieved because it's about time this body start showing SOME signs that you might come in the next week or two! Before that there was nothing! I'm definitely starting to be able to tell when I'm having a Braxton Hicks contraction. It's rare but it does happen from time to time. Additionally, I had an OB appointment and she reassured me that all is well. Our regular doctor has been out but our interim doctor has commented each of the last couple weeks how much she loves your heartbeat, that it's so strong and healthy and just a miracle to hear. That always blesses your mama's heart. You don't have to be a healthy baby, and our great loving Father is still glorious, sovereign, and good if you're not, but it would be such a sweet and good gift if you are a healthy boy. Hearing your strong heartbeat is a blessing every time.

So, today was another day of trying to be patient for you to come. Your mama is one restless lady! I pretty much worked myself out of projects and intentionally have left little organizational jobs to do here and there. Mostly I just feel utterly insatiable! I've had to create projects for myself, like a binder of my fave recipes. usually I just print the recipe or put the laptop on the counter, but I decided to make the binder last night. Your baby book of index cards is all ready, too. I might find a way to turn the greeting cards we received at your showers into a book of some kind (or I might just put them into the box with all the rest of our greeting cards throughout your mama and daddy's marriage; we'll see!). 

Today I also got your stroller ready with the adapter kit that Phil & Teds finally got in stock and sent me. I also put together the new shoe rack I got so your daddy and I stop jostling over real estate for our shoes in the coat closet :) Whatever I can find to keep myself busy, I'm doing it! 

I love you so much, Roger, and just simply cannot wait to meet you. Your daddy and I are in this weird surreal place where we know you'll come into our lives any day now and we'll have a baby boy to love and get to know, but it also doesn't seem real that this little squirrelly monkey in my belly is going to soon not be there and in our arms instead. It will be so wonderful and yet it's so hard to actually try and imagine! Until then, I'll stop gushing and get back to business so that Day 13 is in posterity :)

Day 14 - February 17, 2011
Today was rough, Rog. Mama has been sick all day. Throwing up is never fun, but it's really not fun when a (likely) ten pound baby is bustin' out the abdomen. I'm also a little concerned about my fluids, keeping them up, so as to protect you. I've been doing ok on water and you've been super active so I think you're ok.

Some friends think this could be early signs of labor, as, ahem, my intestines are all sorts of messed up, too. And I have horrible, horrible pains similar to menstrual cramps and my lower back aches like crazy and I have lots of pelvic pressure. Those can be early signs of labor. Also, though, I could just be having a rough day; I've had all of those symptoms in the past few weeks. Not as intensely as today, but they've been there so it might not mean much of anything. The thing I don't have that really matters is contractions, so yep. I suppose we'll see in time :)

EDITED TO ADD: Ok, I might be having contractions. Definite tightenings are happening, but they're mostly up high and not regular and they don't hurt nor are they more than just mildly uncomfortable. But... blurg. I'm going to go to bed and see what happens. Plus, I always thought that when I was in labor I would just know and I feel super uncertain and I keep listening to my body but I just can't tell! I've read everything I can get  my hands on to tell when it's the real thing and I just can't tell! So... again, we wait!

I will tell you this--there is very little a Midnight Truffle Blizzard from Dairy Queen can't help ease. I'm partaking in one right now, and yum. You know that our family almost never eats fast food, but it has a place every now and then, especially when it involves chocolate and ice cream and more chocolate!

So... kind of a bland day, but we're at a minimum of two weeks! Since I'm not likely to be allowed to go past my due date I think we're looking at a max of 14 days 'til we get to meet and know and love you face to face, sweet Roger! I love you, my boy!

Day 15 - February 16, 2011
Cool how yesterday was day 16 on the 15th and today's day 15 on the 16th, huh? 

Here's the coolest thing, love: today mama got the hospital bags all packed. All that's left is the last minute stuff that we need (toothbrush, pillows, etc) for day to day use. Oy vey! Things are about as real as they can get. It keeps hitting me that the squirmy little monkey in my belly is going to be the snugglesome baby boy in my arms in 2 or so weeks. And now the big pile of bags at the door, just waiting for mama to go into labor, is crazy town!

One other cool thing is I got access to all of our maternity pictures with you and they're amazing. Facebook is ablaze with dear friends who are so excited for us! For posterity's sake, here's a link to the album your mama put on Facebook:

Expecting Roger: Maternity Pics!

And that's really it, today, bud. I did all sorts of productive stuff but the big (well, relevant! Finances were a big deal to be done!) things were the hospital bags and the maternity album. Yay!

Love you, baby boy! Tomorrow marks 38 weeks pregnant and only one week until the big ultrasound if you haven't come on your own yet. I love you so much, sweet monkey moose!

Day 16 - February 15, 2011
Last night you had an uber-mega tired mama who crashed at 10:30. Oof! So today's technically tomorrow but I'm still updating with "today" language. Make sense? ;)

So "today" was lovely. First off, our maternity pictures of you are already done and they're amazing! They made me cry a little! Here's the link:


Beyond that, your mama got lots of work done and was able to spend some good time with a sweet friend. I also made something I have a feeling will be a bit of a favorite 'round these parts--I converted a chocolate chip cookie dough pie to gluten free. It was amazing.

The place we ate the pie was at our even MORE amazing new community group. During the discussion and prayer time (the men and women break off for prayer, which I LOVE) I just kept marveling at how wonderful it is to be with people who are authentic and are talking about their real "stuff." I knew we had that in our old community group that we had to leave behind to make this Bellevue trek, but it's just so beautiful to see it's happening all over Mars Hill, not just our tiny sliver of perspective. 

So that was today. It was a great day, because it was a day in which not only did your mama and daddy get to worship Jesus with people who are already loving on us and we get to love them, too. Even better is that it's over and we're one day closer to meeting you, Roger! I love you so much and just can hardly wait to get to know you!

Day 17 - February 14, 2011
So today is Valentine's Day, but this was your mama's day: have a hard time waking up, bust my bum on a transcription file, get really sick to my stomach, take a long 4 hour nap, wake up still really sick, work on the file more, take care of Daddy when he got home from work, get sick again, finish file, and now I'm writing to you. After I'm done writing to you I'll watch The Bachelor (yup, mega cheese!) and write thank you cards from Saturday's shower so I can get the whole lot from both showers in the mail!

Your daddy and I will celebrate our Valentine's Day on Saturday; we had a lovely date last Saturday and were supposed to have a lovely romantic dinner than I had all planned out tonight, but since I'm pretty sure I have food poisoning we just need to wait. Our week is way too full, and your daddy has a big important programming certification test on Saturday that he's studying for all week so we want to wait until Saturday night when we can just relax and enjoy one another. We did exchange gifts, though--I got your daddy a mega nerdy programming book (this one's C#; his test Saturday is for Java. Since you're your daddy's son you'll probably know exactly what that means as you grow up!) and he got me a game for the Wii (Just Dance 2; I can't wait until you are born in part so I can start really sweating it up again!). 

Jorge, our family "pet" chipmunk :)
(or maybe scrawny squirrel!) 
Ok, one last thing about today: it was raining really hard and I looked outside and guess who was snuggled up in the tree outside of our bedroom window? Jorge! Jorge is the chipmunk I have officially adopted as our unofficial family pet :) He's always out on our deck and running up the tree and traipsing around the foliage. I love the little guy. I'm sure he's mega germy so we won't ever touch him, but your mama is working on your daddy to let her research some good chipmunk snacks to put out there for him :) Anyway, I have a feeling you're totally going to love him as you grow up and we'll have many fun afternoons talking to Jorge through the sliding glass door, so here's a cute picture of him just for you! In this picture he's holding his hands in a prayer pose, but at one point he was hugging himself! It was SO cute! I wished I could give him a little chipmunk snuggie or something!

Ok, sweet boy--time to write some thank you cards :) I love and adore you and can't believe how incredibly close we are getting to meeting you, son! Your daddy and I love you so much, Roger!

Day 18 - February 13, 2011
Yesterday was LOOONG so I'll keep today short and sweet! 

This was a great day--today your daddy and I took some pictures with one of the greatest photographers I've ever seen; he just happens to be a dear friend, too :) In fact, his lovely wife Shawn was the mastermind of yesterday's sports themed shower! It was really fun, and we can't wait to see the pics! So, here's the sneak peek:


Love you sweet boy! We're getting so close!

Day 19 - February 12, 2011
Um, what the WHAT? Nineteen days? Hello! 
Mama at your sports-themed shower--
love it! And that was your first ever
article of clothing, proudly put
on display :)

Today was a great day. First, a car seat guru came and ensured that our car seat is totally properly installed and we got tons of great tips from her. Phew! Feels good to have that off my mind :) Then Mama had a WONDERFUL shower with so many ladies that are just so amazing, and I'm honored to know them let alone be so deeply loved by them! I am seriously one blessed woman. You pulled in lots of loot, too, little man. People clearly love loving on you! 

A highlight of the day was actually your amazing daddy. I was driving home and, long story short, thanks to jagweeds in the DOT who seem to think it's cool to close exits without posting detour routes (or warnings, so that you end up stuck on a highway with no exits for a solid 5 minutes of driving--an ETERNITY when you don't know where you are!), I spiraled into an utter panic. I called your daddy crying so hard that he couldn't understand me. We're talking SOBBING--I made my shirt collar totally wet. Your daddy was super sweet, tender, and patient. Not only did he talk me off the ledge, but then he calmly, gently, and sweetly got me to where I could get myself home. 

Then we had date night. Your crazy hormonal mama totally LOST it at Red Robin because even though we were there 90 minutes before our movie they took twice as long as promised to get us seated, and then they took 45 minutes after we ordered to finally bring our food. I could see your daddy's lettuce wrapped burger sitting under the heat lamp for over a half an hour. People seated 10 minutes after us were getting their dessert and we still didn't have our food! And I panicked, worried that we'd miss our movie, and just started sobbing and begging your daddy to get me out of there. I'm embarrassed that I got that way, but your daddy was patient and loving and the restaurant manager felt so bad (she didn't see me crying, thank goodness, though my eyes were probably all red) that she gave us quite the nice gift card. 

We left without eating, so Daddy got Mama a big ol' popcorn and we thoroughly (and, to be honest, surprisingly) enjoyed the movie, Just Go With It. Then we grabbed a late dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. YUM! But the best part of the night was that we took turns sharing with one another ways we've seen the other grow and change since we met / married. That will stay between us, but it was so sweet. Have conversations like that on dates with your wife, Roger! It was precious and my heart is still warm from it. And there was so much that could have ruined the night--we searched for parking for a good 15 minutes before Daddy finally had to drop Mama off and park a gazillion years away; we tried originally to go to the Cheesecake Factory but the wait was an hour wait; then Red Robin happened. Blurg! Yet it was one of our best dates because Jesus has our hearts knit together so sweetly. I love a marriage based on repentance! I pray that your own marriage one day will be always, only centered on repentance.

Ok, I'ma hush up now! I love you, baby boy!

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