Of These 100 Days: Days 59-50

This is a countdown post that I'll be updating daily with a highlight. I know that few babies ever come on their due date, but it's fun to pretend :) It's going to be written to him because that's just how I roll. Plus it's more adorable that way :) Enjoy checking in once a day!

Day 50 - January 12, 2011
Sweet boy, we are halfway there! Which makes me get Bon Jovi's Living' on a Prayer stuck in my head. Nice :)

I cannot believe how close we are getting! Today Daddy and I had community group. It was our second to last one before we move to Bellevue and it was so good and wonderful and our community is just amazing and the best. But then I realized after everyone was gone how sad I am--we're really going to miss them! I pray that you will know the joy of deep relationships based on Jesus with servant hearted love that flows between you and them. 

That's all for today! I love you, monkey moose!

Day 51 - January 11, 2011
First off, the date today is 1/11/11. I even noticed the clock at 1:11 on 1/11/11. Awesome sauce!

Secondly, your daddy and I went to a breastfeeding class tonight. I know some dedicated moms for whom it didn't work, but we learned so much and I pray for Jesus' good gift of endurance and ability to feed you that way. I love how my body is helping yours to develop and grow and I love that when you are born and growing my body can keep giving you nutrition--the best nutrition possible on earth!--to grow healthy and strong. 

Finally, Daddy got a great picture of you in my belly today--I finally look pregnant, sweetpea! So I'm posting it here. I love you so much, Roger, and am really excited for 50 or so days from now when I get to hold you in my arms. 

Day 52 - January 10, 2011
Ok, sweetpea, Mama has a rant for you today. Not against you, love. I do have a life lesson for you, though! Here's the rub--tonight Daddy and I were watching the BCS national championship between Oregon and Auburn. There was a player, whom I will not name so that infamy will die!, who played dirty. It made me really mad! He kicked a player who was on the ground in the face with his cleats and made the guy bleed. Then, he took another guy who was already on the ground and snapped his head back to the turf. THEN he horse tackled someone, grabbing them from behind by the neck and throwing the Oregon player to the ground.

Argh! This made your mama SO MAD! I love sports, and football is my absolute favorite. I hate when the men play dirty, though. Sports should be good, clean fun--a SPORT! Daddy and I hope you love sports and we'll absolutely let you play if you want to and try to make the most of the opportunities you have. But, dear son, I pray that you are able to see sports as an act of worship to Jesus. I pray you play hard, work hard, and treat ALL others involved--coaches, teammates, trainers, refs, the waterboy, the other team, EVERYONE--with dignity and respect. And Rog, if you EVER get all angry mouse and attack another person you'll have the wrath of your mama which is only surpassed by the wrath of God! Daddy can attest to that :)

I love you, Roger, and my deepest desire is always that you would just know and love Jesus and that how you conduct yourself in all parts of life would honor Him. And if part of God's plan for your life is you being a football stud, then awesome sauce! 

Day 53 - January 9, 2011
Today you have a very tired mama as Daddy and I are trying to get some things rolling with packing and such. We move in 13 days--oy! We're getting excited, though :) 

Today I want to tell you one simple thing: I pray that I will always lean on Jesus and that what you learn from me first and foremost is that He is a God of love and freedom with good boundaries in pleasant places. I pray that when you think of grace you think first of Jesus and secondly of how you received it from Jesus repeatedly through your parents. 

I love you, Roger. Still very much looking forward to meeting your fuzzy headed self... we have seen ultrasonic (does that work? Meh. It was on an ultrasound!) proof that you already have a head of fuzzy hair. Thankfully I don't have any heartburn from it! :)

Day 54 - January 8, 2011
Today was Daddy and Mama's 40 month anniversary--how cool is that? It was also one of the greatest days EVER. Wanna know why? The Seahawks played the Saints and won the BEST FOOTBALL GAME WE HAVE EVER SEEN! They were 7-9 this season, and everyone expected them to get CREAMED since New Orleans won the Superbowl last year. Instead the 'Hawks ignored the haters, played their hearts out, and won 41-36! It was crazy town! 


Seriously, I must include this video:

Awesome sauce, right? Your daddy and I were going CRAZY! Screaming, yelling, jumping (I almost put myself into labor), Daddy running around doing the pony dance (you know, where you "gallop" and pat the air behind your bum like your ridding a horse)... it was the best.

After that we went to a Joe Satriani concert. It was awesome--the man is a wizard on the guitar! When he played Always with Me, Always with You I just snuggled with your daddy and thought about how good God is and how far He has brought us. That was the first song that your daddy sent me as an "I love you and this makes me think of you whenever I listen to it" song. It's pretty incredible how far we've come--your mama barely looks like a shell of her former self, and I still plan to lose another hundred pounds! Daddy has a career and doesn't drive around all day in massively underpaying jobs (well, underpaying as far as providing for a family in expensive Seattle). Our hearts are completely different from where we were when we got married--we actually rely on Jesus on a daily basis and seek Him and commune with Him and though we still have so much to learn, He's increasingly the center of our lives. 

And, best of all, sweet monkey moose, there's you. We just adore you so much. You're our son, and we're excited to meet you and see where Jesus has our family in another 40 months from now. Love you, Roger, and ready to see this countdown at zero (be that in 54 days, or more or less) because you are in our arms!

Day 55 - January 7, 2011
Hi sweetheart. Today was just a day filled with me thinking about how grateful I am for you! Seriously, I adore you. You are my favorite, baby boy! Daddy and I were hanging out and you were doing what can only be acrobatics or practicing 50 yard sprints in my belly and all I could do was rub my belly and tell you how much we love you :) I am so excited to meet you, love bug!

Tonight I was watching an episode of Friends (as I'm sure you must know; if you really can hear their voices in the womb you're going to think they're aunts and uncles!) where Phoebe has to give up the triplets she carried surrogate for her brother. It's actually touching and really sad, and I can't imagine having you and seeing you and then giving you away and not being your mama. I adore you and am so glad you belong to Daddy and me, Rog! 

I mean, don't get me wrong, it's crazy town to think that we're actually responsible for you. Eek! But still, I'm glad you are coming home with us because I'm just so excited to raise you and see you grow up! I love you so much, Roger! 

Day 56 - January 6, 2011
Today was quite uneventful. It had lots of Mama, the couch, Daddy's pillows (Mama loves using Daddy's pillows because they smell like him), and various shows that were lurking on the TiVo. This was thanks to horrible pain ala yesterday. 

So, today has nothing deep for you. I will tell you this: buying a house sort of terrifies me. There's this show called Holmes on Homes, and a great guy named Mike Holmes comes in to fix stuff that other people screwed up. Sometimes it's just people who don't know how to do their job very well. Other times it's people intentionally doing shoddy work because they only care about getting their paycheck. Sadly, there is very little a homeowner can do in either situation. Seeing situation after situation where people didn't do their very best to ensure that others are receiving the very best just makes my heart sad. 

You know something I love about following Jesus? It's not an excuse to do things half-heartedly. Jesus calls us to always do our very best and to be great. He was (and is!) great and His Holy Spirit enables us to be great. That's awesome! It doesn't ensure that others will do their best for us, but Jesus is there for us in that, too. I pray that you will do your best for Jesus' glory, that you will be great because you worship a great savior. That's my prayer, one my heart longs for Jesus to honor in your life.

Anyway... thanks to excruciating back pain I need to get off of this laptop. But I love you my sweet monkey moose. Looking forward to meeting you, buddy!

Day 57 - January 5, 2011
Welp, Rog, it happened today. I'll just tell you straight up--I ate some banana cream pudding (not even that much! It was maybe 1/3 of a cup!) but my gigantic uterus was pressing on my tum. So, shortly after I was leaning over the sink vomiting--fun! Standing in front of the mirror a few minutes later I just stared at my gargantuan stomach, hardly able to breathe, with my back aching and my head pounding from yet another migraine, feeling horrible. And as I walked back to the couch my hips were KILLING ME and then I realized I was waddling and I SWORE I wouldn't let myself waddle. Then I could barely sit down on the couch and ARGH!

That's when it happened, Roger--I thought, "I cannot wait to get this baby out of me." 

That was the moment I became full-fledged totally a pregnant chick. Whining about aches and pains and not being able to breathe and barely able to move and wishing they could be unpregnant. Now, not so much that I want you to come early or that I could ever actually be happy to get you out of me any sooner than about 8 weeks from now. But I get it... pregnancy is really hard! Labor will be worse. And then, parenting will be the hardest part. I've practically entered motherhood now, Roger ;)

For real, this is tough. But I love you, Roger, and today I felt you moving around (you seem to like it when I tap my leg all the time) and I just love you so much. For as much as this sucks, I'm honored to serve you. I'm glad my body is providing a healthy place for you. I look and feel like a beached whale, but if that's what needs to happen for you to keep growing then I'll lean into Jesus, remind myself to have a few words with Eve about that whole curse thing when I see her in heaven, and embrace this opportunity. 

But Roger, let me tell you, for as much as I adore you, I will be so glad when you are out of me and my body (internally, at least, since we're asking Jesus to bless my heart's desire to breastfeed you) becomes more my own (and your daddy's!) again. That's another, though lesser, reason to be quite excited to see these 56 or so more days go by quickly!

Day 58 - January 4, 2011
Daddy said something super sweet today--we were watching a show about families having babies. The daddy on this particular episode said that having a baby had been the greatest experience of his life, and though the baby was only about 6 weeks old he knew that they would definitely want to go through the experience again.

Daddy reached over, patted my leg, and said, "We haven't even had our baby yet and I know we want to do this again!" That blessed mama's heart. We aren't sure how long we'll wait to try for a little brother or sister, and we definitely don't know what Jesus is going to say (we're thinking three years--but we could change our minds and Jesus could definitely bless us with a sweet surprise sooner than we think!). What we do know is that we'd love to have a big family. Even with the rough parts of pregnancy, while I'm in the middle of it, I know that I definitely want to have more babies. It blesses your mama's heart that your daddy is on the same page and embraces a big family just like mama :) 

That's important stuff, Rog--make sure you marry a woman with a heart similar to yours regarding family. It breaks my heart to see people in marriages where one person wants babies and the other doesn't, or one wants to have babies early in marriage and the other wants to put it off and then when they finally start trying they find out they are infertile and might have missed their window, and especially the number of babies can alter dramatically. I know things can change, but before mama and daddy let their relationship get too serious we talked about what we wanted our family to look like--how many children? Mama wants at least 4, maybe 6, but we'll see! Daddy is good with seeing what Jesus does and I trust him to lead our family well. We talked about things like who will take care of the children--we agreed that we wanted for me to stay home and raise the children while daddy works hard to make the money. We talked about things like if it gets too stressful on me with lots of children, would either of us be against paying someone to help with house cleaning. We both are ok with that and trust Jesus to provide if we need those things. 

Those are lots of details, but I'm grateful for your daddy, Roger. He's the most incredibly wonderful husband and he's my perfect match. Every day I thank Jesus for your daddy. I admire him, I respect him, and I think he's the most incredible man I have ever known. It brings me joy to serve him! That's such a blessing, Roger, and I pray that your wife will feel all of those things for you. I pray she honors you and respects you and has a heart that desires to encourage you and build you up. I pray that she sees submission to you as part of worshiping Jesus, even more so I pray that you love Jesus so much that your love for Him flows into how you love and honor your wife. The Bible says you are to love your wife as Jesus loves the church and I pray that by His grace you will personify that verse.

These are thoughts from the hopeful heart of a mama. I just adore you, sweet son, and am glad we only have 57 or so more days until we meet your wonderful self!

Day 59 - January 3, 2011
Roger! We're in the 50s! Seriously, I get how time works, but really? How did that even happen? Oy! The 50s, baby boy! You get to meet your mama and daddy and we get to meet you and become a family of three. It's making me cry a little just thinking about it. All your mama has wanted her entire life is a family of her own, one that loves Jesus and is filled with love for each other. It's such a blessing to be entering this phase of life, and it's all because Jesus chose to give you to us! 

I know I've said it before, but you are one of the most loved babies of all time. I am sure other mamas and daddies feel just as passionately about their babies, but I can hardly imagine it! We can feel your body parts (especially your cute bum!) and now when you move it's not flutters--it's big movements, arms and legs and hips and shoulders rolling around under our probing fingertips. Daddy loves it! Mama does, too. We can tell you're starting to get crowded in there and you always react when you feel us touching you. 

You're getting so big, in fact, that mama's finally starting to "pop" and actually look like a pregnant woman and not just a big fattie! Maybe that's a big shallow, but it sure is nice!

I just love you so much, Rog. I'm excited to hold you, see what you look like, nuzzle you, kiss every little finger and toe. Daddy and I are starting to realize that everything's really real. We're moving to Bellevue in 18 days, then it's baby showers and pregnancy pictures (and the Superbowl! Woot!) and then, not much later, you'll be coming! Only 59 or so days, lovely Roger, until you enter this world!

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