80 Days - December 13, 2010
I'm 200 days pregnant today. Can you believe it? We're already to the end of this post! Next up: the 70s! Man alive, things are rolling. I know sometimes I'm long and flowery and other times I'm super serious and rambling. Today, I just love you. I love feeling you move, I love thinking about what you'll be like, I love preparing and planning for your arrival, and most of all I just love. You're my son and I pray I'll be a mama you thank Jesus for!
PS - If you ever want proof that there is a God, here's some: today Cliff Lee didn't become a Yankee!
81 Days - December 12, 2010
I have only one thing to say today, Rog: No matter what happens in your life, no matter how much you sin or are sinned against or the inexplicable suffering you may experience or see around you, know that God loves you. He sent His Son to die on the cross for you, but then throughout your life everything He does is for your good. He pours out more and more grace when you by all means should have incurred His wrath. I know this from experience, son, and pray that this truth is written on your heart.
82 Days - December 11, 2010
Today was sad, Roger. You know your family is comprised of avid Mariners fans. Sadly, one of the greatest parts of the Mariners, our beloved broadcaster Dave Niehaus, died a few weeks ago. Today was his memorial service (called a Celebration of Life) and it was very hard on me. I just loved the guy--it's unbelievable to me that we'll never hear him announce another game, and my heart was very sad to realize that you'll never get to hear him announce a game.
What sticks to me the deepest is realizing that I pray that you live a long and healthy life. My deepest desire is that at the end of your life, people say wonderful things about. I hope they say you were a wonderful friend, an amazing husband and father, that you treated all people with humility and respect. Most of all, though, my son, I pray that what is spoken from every person with regards to you at the end of your life is in reference to how you literally shined the light of Jesus into the life of every person you ever came across. I pray your life and the life of Jesus Christ are so intertwined that your name cannot come up without Jesus getting glory for the good God He is. I pray your daddy and I are faithful to Jesus, repentant conduits of His love, so that He is alive to you, sweet son.
Can't wait to meet you, my boy.
83 Days - December 10, 2010
Today I learned that Daddy is getting used to me calling you Rog. He swore he'd never call you Rog, that you'll only be Roger, but guess what? He's starting to call you Rog sometimes. Here's a hint: on issues like this, Mama always wins! Your daddy eventually realizes that your mama is awesome and knows best about these things :)
However, I guess even your wise mama has to agree with your daddy on one thing: I called you Rog-podge and Daddy said no way, no how will we ever call you that. I agree. I will not subject you to that, sweetpea. (Get it? Sweetpea? Just kidding, my little very manly baby! Love you, Rog
84 Days - December 9, 2010
We're already more than halfway through the 80s, Rog! Oy vey, that was quick! Today I just want to tell you that Jesus has blessed you with an incredible daddy. Tonight your mama was having a pretty terrible attitude and feeling sorry for herself and angry with everything in the world. Your sweet daddy could have rebuked me and gotten on my case for not turning to Jesus. Instead, he lovingly served me, cleaned the kitchen (though he was up way past his bedtime already helping our neighbors), and was sweet and loving and gentle with me. It totally softened my heart and pointed me to Jesus. He's an incredible husband and I am quite certain that he'll be an amazing daddy to you.
And Roger, he adores you. Whenever I tell him you're moving he stops everything to put his hands on my belly and feel you. He tells me all of the time that he's so in love with you. You're his baby boy, his son, and he can't wait to meet you. We so look forward to you coming into our lives, Roger. You have got to be one of the most loved and wanted babies of all time! I don't think I could want anything more than I want to hold you in my arms. We're very much looking forward to these 84 days being crossed off the calendar and meeting you, sweet boy!
85 Days - December 8, 2010
This was a pretty uneventful day. Mostly, you just kick (or knee and elbow, as it were) so hard that sometimes I feel like you're trying to bust out of there! Maybe you are as excited to be born as I am for you :) I'm one exhausted mama, so let's go sleep now, k? Love you, sweet baby.
86 Days - December 7, 2010
What I want marked from this day is one simple thing: I am completely in love with you, my son. You are my first pregnancy, my first baby, my first son. You are so incredibly precious to me, sweet boy. The love in my heart for you is beyond words.
The highlight of today was this: we have a bunch of pictures of you on the refrigerator from the various ultrasounds we've had. My favorites are always the most recent ones. I get to see your head, your profile, your full face, you holding your little hands up by your face, your adorable little legs crossed at the ankles, your chubby little belly. Roger, I am so in love with you!
I literally ache to hold you, to behold that face, have your tiny hand grasp my finger, to kiss your sweet belly, see those little ankles crossed in the flesh, not in black-and-white patterns on our fridge! As always, I very much want you to to stay in my belly until March 3, but until then I will continue to thrilled to tick off each day until I get to meet you. You are Jesus' sweetest gift to me, dear son, and I pray I'll be a godly and good mama to you. Only 86 days, love!
87 Days - December 6, 2010
No flowery words today, Rog. Just a moment I never want to forget. I was snuggling with Daddy and you started kicking. He's felt you move many times, but never one of your heavy duty, roundhouse kicks. I placed his hand on my belly when I felt you waking up, and suddenly you ka-powed Daddy's hand so hard that I could feel it through his hand. And you know--your daddy has monster big hands. He was overcome with awe at the moment and it became that much more real to him that we're having a baby, that his son--you, sweet boy!--are inside of mama, growing and getting strong and moving around. It was incredible and, as I said, I want to never forget that moment, just the three of us. I love you, Roger.
88 Days - December 5, 2010
Today was amazing. The sermon was an advent-centered message, ushering in the season celebrating Jesus' birth as a baby and then looking forward to his return someday to establish his kingdom. I've always wondered what it was like for Mary, knowing that the Son of God was growing in her womb. I'm sure most Christian mothers of sons, especially their first pregnancy being a son, experience a similar feeling, but listening to a sermon about Mary saying she is the Lord's servant and will do as He wills while feeling you wiggling around in my belly was just the most incredible experience. I pray I will be a godly mother to you and that the attitude of my heart will consistently be, "I am the servant of the Lord and I will do as You will, Father." I pray this will minister to your heart, seeing me trust Jesus no matter what.
Your mama adores you, sweetheart. Glad the days are marching quickly by!
89 Days - December 4, 2010
We're in the 80s, Rog! Today was another fairly nondescript day, other than the fact that you were awake A LOT during the day today. A cool new thing is that I don't just feel your feet kicking up by my belly button anymore--I can feel your whole little body wiggling! Your head is down by my left hip, with your feet angled up to the right of my belly button (you're starting to get close to my ribs!) and when you move I can tell you are moving your head, your hands, your hips, knees, feet--all of it! Your little two pound self can pack some punch, too! Every once in a while it's a little like getting the wind knocked out of me when you do a full body twist.
Honestly, Rog, it's pretty much the coolest miracle ever. I love that my body is serving you by helping yours grow. I love feeling you move, knowing that a son is taking shape inside of me. I adore you, little man! Looking forward to kissing your sweet face in 89 or so days!