12/03/2010

Of These 100 Days: Days 100-90


This is a countdown post that I'll be updating daily with a highlight. I know that few babies ever come on their due date, but it's fun to pretend :) It's going to be written to him because that's just how I roll. Plus it's more adorable that way :) Enjoy checking in once a day!


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90 Days - December 3, 2010
Yesterday someone told me that my pregnancy is going by really fast. For them, I am sure it is! Actually, though, I remember thinking I had 8 months, then 7, then six... today it's 3. So really, that's quite nice. Only 90 days, sweetie! Maybe less, maybe more. Either way, we're getting close! This is even the last day of this particular blog entry, so we're going to be moving on to the 80s tomorrow! Woot! Today was pretty low key. I don't have any big highlights, other than to tell you that you're my favorite, sweet boy, and every time you move I feel like my heart is a just a puddle of melted chocolate. I adore you, Rog!

91 Days - December 2, 2010
Well, the good news is that today is 27 weeks! Some calendars consider me to be in my third trimester; next Thursday all of them will agree. The great news is that if you came out today, your chances of survival would be 90%. I pray you stay in there for 13 more weeks--I can't lie, I think February is the third suckiest month (the months, from worst to best are: January, November, February, December, June, August, July, March, September, May, April, and the greatest month EVER is October). If you come in March it would be heavily preferred. That said, really, I don't care when you come, so long as you're healthy. But I ask Jesus for the good gift of you coming in March--what can I say? Your mama is very particular, verging on neurotic!

You've been moving lots today, and though my heart is heavy and burdened right now, I want you to know that I keep turning to Jesus. Sometimes I'm slow because I forget to, other times I don't realize just how anxious I am, and other times I resist going to Him because despite the anguish worry brings it's also sickly comforting to believe the lie that worrying can somehow allow me to come up with a solution that brings some semblance of control into my life. I know it's all a lie and only Jesus is good and trustworthy, so I keep going back to Him and asking Him to help me believe that His promises are true and that His plans are good. I ask that He'll keep softening my heart to believe our Father is a loving, compassionate, protective Daddy in whom I can rest.

I pray you will know this too, Roger. It's not always easy, trusting Jesus, but it's worth it. I pray that even now, before you are born, that my choice to obey and worship Jesus will impact your little heart to believe and embrace the Gospel of Christ crucified as your own.


92 Days - December 1, 2010
Yay, Rog! It's December! That means only three more calendar months until you're due to arrive! Today was a bit rough--I don't technically start my third trimester until next Thursday, but today some sort of massive exhaustion hit and I'm one tired chinchilla. I even took a nap this afternoon--and I didn't wake up until almost noon (granted, you kept me up until 3 am with your crazy kicking ways!). Crazy town! But I also worked a LOT today, and my poor body couldn't keep up. These last 92 days might be really, really rough! But it's so worth it, my love, because I still adore you more than anything.

When I was trying to fall asleep, you were moving like crazy. I was on my side and you were just moving every part of your little body--you must have been headbutting, kneeing, kicking, punching, doing the cha-cha. It was wonderful. I think I'll miss that when you're not in there anymore. You're moving again right now so I'ma stop writing to you and just enjoy you! I love you, sweet boy!

93 Days - November 30, 2010
I'ma tell you, Rog--I'm so glad today is the last day of November! Somehow it's just such a heavy month for me. I am excited for Christmas for the first time that I can remember in a really long time, and all I can think about is how excited I am to spend Christmas with you next year. I so want you here, baby boy. I think about you all of the time. I marvel that you are in my belly, growing and getting ready for life out here in the big, wide world. I just so look forward to holding you, snuggling you and rubbing your little back, breathing in your sweet baby scent. I wonder what you'll look like and try to imagine your face but I just can't quite get there!

I know I say it all of the time, but it's only more true as we slowly wind down the days--I'm so excited to meet you, my son! Mothers describe the gush of love that comes when their baby is placed in their arms for the first time, and I am so incredibly in love with you already that I can't imagine loving you any more. That moment, meeting you for the first time and feeling a love I've never felt before, seems impossible to me because I simply love you with a depth and fierceness that I could never put into words. So does your daddy. We just want you to keep on cookin' and getting healthy and strong but so look forward to the day Jesus decides is your birth day, Roger!

94 Days - November 29, 2010
Well today was a bit of a bummer. Our apartment building sold, and though we've tried to be very open and communicative with the new owners, they did something awful today. They illegally are trying to force many of the residents (not us, but many neighbors) to move out of their homes by raising the rent $300-$500, and they said people have to either pay the new prices or be out by tomorrow. That's illegal anytime, but that's just cruel to do right before Christmas. It made your daddy and I very sad, because the new owners state very clearly on their website that they are all about making a huge profit. As we learned today, they do that at the cost of hurting people. It makes me want to cry.

So, needless to say, we are moving at the end of May, when our lease ends and sooner if they'll let us, no matter what. Even if we could afford the new prices, we don't feel good about giving money to help such greedy people gain more wealth, and we don't trust them to not hurt us for their gain at some point in the future. Unless Jesus tells us to stay, it would seem that moving is wise. And now we have big decisions ahead, like where to move. We want to be where Jesus wants our family and we don't have a clear sense of calling right now. We thought we did, but he's been working in our hearts and we aren't sure anymore.

Having you, baby boy, changes everything. We only want what Jesus wants for our family, but we also know God wants us to be wise and thoughtful as we week him and make decisions about where to live. This is my promise to you, some 94 or so days before I meet you: we are seeking Jesus. He comes first and we'll go where he clearly calls us. We want to exercise wisdom in such a big decision, and many factors--your daddy's commute distance / time, financial issues regarding neighborhood prices, possibly living where we can be a one car family, etc--play into the decision and will affect you. What matters MOST of all, and most directly affects you, is that our plans are led by Jesus and not made purely of our own wisdom. So, seeking Jesus is how we best honor you, sweet one, no matter where we end up.

I pray that our desire to worship Jesus, and our firm belief that God is a loving Father who adores us, and you, and whose will for us is always good and wonderful because it's His will for our lives, will be a great testimony to you about what a loving, good God we serve. I adore you, little Roger, and trust Jesus that wherever we live, even if we have to move when you're only 2 1/2 months old, will be a wonderful home to raise you in and that we can rest in knowing that Jesus will take care of us--all three of us. Your daddy and I are praying, praying, praying, and I know that someday we'll hardly remember this day, 94 days before you're due, though the events seemed like such a big deal today and will heavily affect our next few months. Praise God for that :)

95 Days - November 28, 2010
Today was AWESOME. For my birthday back in October your daddy got us tickets to our first Seahawks game at Qwest Field. When you're old enough to understand this then I'm sure you'll already know that our family is crazy about the Seahawks--you already have a 12th Man jersey to match Mama and Daddy's jerseys :) But it was SO fun! The atmosphere is just... well, this is mega cheese, but it's kind of magical.

Daddy & Mama (and you!) at our first Seahawks game!
Truth be told, the 'Hawks laid a stinker and we lost. But it was still fun, for two reasons. One, I realized that someday in Heaven we'll get to worship Jesus with the jubilation of a 72-yard touchdown without the despair of giving up a big interception. Secondly, you moved SO MUCH during the game and no matter how bummeriffic the game was, feeling you move just put everything in perspective--I love sports. They are so fun. But you, my sweet son, remind me that a football game is to be enjoyed in the moment but it's not the stuff of life. Worshiping Jesus, snuggling in the cold with your daddy, and feeling you kick around in my belly like you were playing your own football game is the stuff of life. A bonus realization, too, is that many of the players understand that as well. When the final whistle blew, about 20 of the Kansas City Chiefs and Seahawks players knelt down on the 50 yard line and all prayed together. It was beautiful. What a wonderful, wonderful day.

I love you, my sweet boy. I saw little boys in Seahawks gear, holding hands with their daddies and having a great time, and it made me ache to have your little hand in your daddy's and mine, running around Qwest Field with us. Can't wait for that day, bud! Until then, you just keep growing. I love you so much, Roger.

96 Days - November 27, 2010
We had fun today! After an impromptu early evening drive around Mercer Island, daddy and I went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I. Yeah, we're nerds.

Today the bummer realization was this--I love you, son, but you see, when a woman isn't pregnant and she has to urinate really badly, making it to a toilet on time is such a relief. Physically, it's just... relieving. But there's also the mental aspect, the peace of knowing you're not going to soil yourself in public.

Not so much when you're pregnant. For one, despite insane pressure, barely anything comes out. I was actually jealous of a lady in a stall next to me at the movie theater because she clearly was ridding herself of excessively more waste than I was. Secondly, it's relieving for like a 1/2 a second, but then it takes great effort and body maneuvering (leaning forward just so) to get as much out as possible only to realize that nothing else is coming out yet it still feels like there's more in there. The second you stand up you realize you still have the "I need to go" sensation. There's no physical relief, nor true mental relief.

Not gonna lie--I'll miss feeling you moving inside of me, my sweet MiniMoose, but I soooo look forward to properly urinating after you are born and will not miss this part of pregnancy!

97 Days - November 26, 2010
This was such a great day, Rog! Daddy and I want to have family traditions, and so today we started one. Since we had Thanksgiving dinner at your Uncle Steve and Auntie Shell's house, we made our own turkey dinner today to eat leftovers this week. While the (amazing!) turkey and other fixin's were cooking, we made a Starbucks run, played Christmas music from the iPod while the TV played college football on mute, and put up the tree and Christmas decorations. Then, we sat down to eat our tasty fare and watched Elf. Can you believe it was your daddy's first time? Such a great Christmas movie!

The craziest part of the day was that I had my first intense pregnancy food craving. I've wanted things--something gets in my head and I can't stop thinking about it until I've eaten it. But it wasn't something that I had to have this second or else. Not so tonight! I was watching a Friends rerun where Emma won't stop crying and suddenly the thought of Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie ice cream came into my head and I had to have it. Seriously, it was like my mouth imploded on itself. I wondered if my "cravings" were real and now tonight I know what a real one feels like! Suffice it to say, we made an 11 pm QFC run, and even got the stuff to make turkey sandwiches for lunch tomorrow--another necessary holiday tradition!

Lastly, today, daddy and I realized that for Thanksgiving next year, Jesus willing, we'll have a little man who's almost 9 months old. I'm so excited to see what you'll be like, bud! I love you so much, my son. Happy 97 days!

98 Days - November 25, 2010
Today marked 26 weeks of pregnancy, and it was your first Thanksgiving! My thankful list had you at the very top :) I'm so in love with you, Rog! I asked your daddy what he's thankful for and all he could do was rub my tummy and smile (that means you, for the record). Your daddy adores you!

You slept right through dinner but then I had a bit of pumpkin and pecan pie and you seemed to really enjoy the sugar because you were moving a decent bit after that! Your Auntie Shell got you the cutest little outfit--it has moose on it! Or, as your daddy joked, it has "meeses" on it. I just held it and wished you were here so you can wear it! But you have 14 weeks or so of cookin' of your own left to do, little turkey, so you just keep on basting away! I love you so much, sweet son. I can hardly wait to meet you but I'm leaning on Jesus to teach me patience.

99 Days - November 24, 2010
Tonight your daddy and I went to a celebration for people who are finishing up Redemption Groups, a ministry that I have been a leader in for 2 years now. It's a sweet time of hearing people share how Jesus has been working in their lives. My prayer for you is that you will always be aware of how precious you are to Jesus, and that you will not fight Him as He works in you for His good will and purpose. I love you so much that I can't put it to words, and yet I know your heavenly Father loves you even more.

I pray you will grow in depth and understanding of something a woman said tonight that I pray will never leave me: "I thought redemption was spelled D-O. Now I know it's spelled D-O-N-E." Know that Jesus' work on the cross makes you whole and complete, Roger; I pray you would be filled with peace and joy in walking out redemption, and that the Father's will is to put His Spirit in you from a young age, possibly even now in the womb like He did with John! You are His far more than mine, my love.

100 Days - November 23, 2010
Today daddy and I walked to the store in 20 degree weather on icy streets. That's something for Seattle! I'm pretty sure you slept through it, but it was pretty cool. Also, today you confirmed what I thought was only in my imagination before--you totally start moving around like a little wild man when you hear your daddy's voice! It made his day and he hugged my belly and told you that he loves you and you gave a big kick in response. You are one loved baby boy, sweet Roger!

2 comments:

  1. Tami! Found your blog on babycenter.com. It's great to find a fellow believer! Amen! I love your idea of a count down. I'm 123 days away from twin girls! This our first pregnancy. We conceived through God's grace- via invitro! Looking forward to following your journey!

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  2. Thanks! And that is so awesome! I really wanted twins but I'm thankful for God's grace that He decided Roger was enough for right now :) I still hope for twins someday, though! Congrats on your girls--that's so exciting! I'm honored to have you following along!

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