10/20/2010

Random Joys

Roger moves around a lot. The ultrasound tech said my placenta is on the back of my uterus, near my spine, and that he's head down so when he kicks he's kicking out the front of my tum just below my belly button. It's still the greatest feeling ever. I'm barely showing, and can only tell I'm pregnant if I lie on my back and press in below my navel, so feeling him move all the time is a nice reminder that, yes, I really am pregnant and my baby boy really is rumbling around in there!

I can't wait to kiss my real baby boy,
not just a picture of his giant head :)
His latest ultrasound pic, in which he actually looks like a baby and not a glorified tadpole (which is how he looked at 7 weeks) is on the refrigerator and frequently I just stop and kiss it. I love him so much! It's hard to put into words. I start to worry that friends, especially those without kids, will get sick of me gushing about my baby. But he's on my heart and mind all of the time. I pray for him a lot, and I just wonder things about him. What will he look like? Will he get my dark brown eyes or his daddy's hazel ones? For the record, I hope he has his daddy's eyes but his mama's eyebrows, because his mama actually has TWO of them ;) Daddy does, too, but only thanks to the wonders of waxing!

I love knowing that Rog is a boy. It was wonderful to pray for my baby before, but now it's so much more rich and deep. I pray for the older brother he'll be, that he'll be a defender and protector of his younger siblings, especially his sisters. I pray for the godly man that he will become, asking Jesus to help Jason and I to raise Roger well and be used to instill in him a deep, steadfast love for God. I pray that he'll unwaveringly believe that the Father is good and loves him, that he'll be secure in that and live out of an intimate and thriving relationship with his ultimate Father. I pray for him as a son, that he'll be obedient and that his daddy will live out the truths that we desire to see in Roger--a humble heart, repentant, secure in being loved, filled with joy in being free and forgiven.

I pray that I will be a godly mother, that when he seeks a wife one day he'll have a high godly standard set by having a mama who loves Jesus and nurtured, instructed, served, and shepherded him well. I pray for the husband and father he'll be, if that's the Lord's calling on his life. I pray for his personality, that Jason and I would seek redemption for who God is  making Rog to be and that we won't try to mold him to fit a personality we think looks best on our son. I pray for his work ethic, that he'll see in his daddy what it looks like to work hard, to be diligent, to be a provider, and to find joy in this role as a man. I pray for his talents, that we would nurture and guide him in the ways God has gifted him, that he'll seek to be great at all he does for the glory of God, to serve others, and to bring him joy.

I love knowing that my baby is my son. I feel a little wistful, wondering about my daughter that doesn't exist yet besides, Lord willing, an egg floating around in my ovaries somewhere. But I'm overjoyed at the prospect of having a son. I can't wait to meet him! A friend had her first baby, also a son, just last Friday, and seeing the pictures of her and her husband holding him, meeting him for the first time, overflowing with love for this little tiny mini-man who has been with them for 41 weeks but who they just now get to meet face to face... oy! It's just so beautiful. I started crying. Being pregnant, seeing that as a future reality and not only a future hope just changes everything.

God is good in giving 40 weeks for praying and preparing, but I sure can't wait to meet my baby boy. March 3, or thereabouts, cannot come quickly enough!

2 comments:

  1. It's funny that you say you worry about some of your friends getting tired of hearing you gush about your baby. But from the moment you found out and shared your news, you have to realize that your life is now completely different and your priorities have shifted somewhat. The gushing about your wonderful little baby boy has only just begun, let me tell you. After little Roger is born, you'll only gush all the more. But don't worry, your close friends and family will totally understand, because they'll love your new family member, too. I have a feeling the gushing about your kids will never stop. And then one day you'll start gushing about your grandkids, too. :)
    Plus, if you're a housewife and mommy like I am, you're around your kid(s) all day long, and so what else are you supposed to talk about? I feel like I talk about my little guy all the time... but when people ask me "what's new?" that's really all I have to discuss. :)

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  2. I agree with Jenai. I mean, I have other things in my life that I do and I want to talk about those as well, but nothing compares to the joy I take in Owen. I have even added him into pre-Owen memories. It's hard to remember life before him and life will never be the same after him. Every time there is a big event in your life, life begins again at that moment. You will separate memories into before Roger and after Roger. And as your friend, I can't get enough of hearing about him. He is loved by God, created by God--why wouldn't you want to talk about something like that???

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